Does Your Agent Make You Feel Like “Ghosting” or “Submarining”? Or Are They Doing it to You?

by Danielle Skowronek

Ghosting, Submarining, and Real Estate Searches

Millennial dating trends now include the terms “ghosting” and “submarining”. For those of you not familiar with the terms, ghosting refers to the act of breaking off a relationship by ceasing all communication and contact with the former partner without any apparent warning or justification, as well as avoiding and/or ignoring and refusing to respond in any way to the former partner’s attempts to reach out or communicate. Submarining is a more recent trend and is like ghosting, only the person who ghosted you ends up cropping back up again weeks, months or even years after they cut you off. Like a submarine which has been underwater for months, they’ll resurface back into your life without warning.

While most people avoid behaving like this on the dating scene, unfortunately, it is not too uncommon for buyer agents and buyers to act this way during their home search.

If your real estate agent is disappearing whenever you bring up questions, concerns or issues you should look elsewhere for help.

Likewise, if your real estate agent is not providing much value during your home search it is not hard to see why you would want to disappear or not respond to communication. If you are feeling this way during your home search here are a few questions to ask yourself to see if it is time to find a new buyer agent relationship.

5 Things to Ask Yourself When Determining if it’s Time for a New Realtor Relationship

  • Did your agent take the time up front to meet with you to determine exactly what you wanted in your next home, explain the entire process to you and learn how to best work with you? (Many agents skip this extremely important step which will help make sure search as efficient as possible)
  • Did you agent do a “reality check analysis” at the start of your search? (This is a search backward in time to see what kind of homes have sold in the past year that match your criteria)
  • Does your agent follow your communication preferences? Did he/she even ask what they were?
  • Does your agent proactively adjust your search criteria based on your feedback? Or did he/she just launch a fire and forget search solution? (This is where the agent sets up an initial search and never makes adjustments)
  • Does your agent take steps to find homes off the market? (Nearly a quarter of our sales happen with homes that are not on the market yet so our team is proactively looking for a home for you rather than hoping one will come up)

If your real estate agent is not taking these steps it is understandable why you would quit responding to them and want to disappear for long periods of time.

If you are beginning your search, or feel like your current search is not working, contact the Orange Line Living and Keri Shull team today to see how we can help.


The Keri Shull and Orange Line Living Team is proud to not only be the highest selling team in Arlington, VA and one of the top in the nation for the last several years, but we have also consistently been one of the top-rated teams on Zillow, Yelp, Google, and other 3rd party platforms. Most of our team members our employees, rather than independent contractors and we often get hundreds of applications for every hire that we make. If you want to learn more about the true team difference contact us today at [email protected] or call or text 571-969-7653.

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